My husband suggested that we go by ourselves to the grocery store. We needed some things for breakfast, and we had a house full of family–a wonderful thing, but noisy.
“I like going to the grocery store with you,” he said. “It can be like a date.”
So at 10 pm we went to Safeway, and talked as we ambled down the aisles, pushing the cart. We talked about food, traits our kids had in common, and the music we’d played together that morning in church. We took a good, long time. It was catching up, connecting, and it was fun.
The older I get, the more I find myself leveling my expectations. I have gotten excited anticipating the “perfect” weekend getaway, dinner at a great restaurant, or an awesome concert from one of my favorite bands. Now my greatest joys are things that happen off the cuff. A hike with my kids. Frisbee with my husband in the park behind our house.
I think there is something about getting older and having experienced the highs and lows of life over and over again. You realize that it isn’t what you do, it’s who you’re doing it with and what your state of mind is at the time.
There is life that comes from connecting with another person, no matter how introverted you are (my husband’s an introvert and I’m right smack between E and I). Our son is autistic, and I see the life in him when he connects with someone over a common interest. There is a jolt of relational energy that passes back and forth between them. We were made for this connection, and when we bind ourselves up in tasks to be done or plans for a big, anticipated event, that often gets lost.
I love the movie, Up, especially the conversations between Russell, the young Explorer Scout and the old man, Carl. In one scene, Russell remembers playing a game with his dad sitting outside Fenton’s ice cream parlor. A silly game they made up, where they score points for every red car they see.
“That might sound boring,” Russell tells Carl as he tells him about the game, “but I think the boring stuff is the stuff I remember the most.”